I’m a retired Air Force medic currently teaching at a local college. Like far too many, I’ve been abused, verbally, physically, and sexually. I’ve been deployed a few times and traveled the world for work and leisure. By most standards, I’ve had a wonderful life, but for the last 15-20 years I’ve dealt with mental illness. That’s hard for me to admit with all the stigma that comes with it, but it’s the truth. I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorder, and PTSD. I’m not sure which of those I truly have, maybe I have all of them. I started a book called The Healing House. It’s a personification of an old 1900 home I’m remodeling. As crazy as it may sound, this house, spoke to me, not in a literal sense, but nonetheless it was a powerful and loud. Seeing it torn apart made me feel torn apart. Watching it being put back together inspires me to move forward with hope for healing.
Through writing, I’ve opened numerous wounds, wounds that can only heal through debridement of the negative emotions that keep them open. I must continue to write until all the tumors of the past have been removed.
I’ve started with deep introspection. It’s been painful, difficult to continue, but I’m determined to close my wounds this time. I don’t intend on leaving anything behind. Will it be a new diet that “fixes me?” Maybe it’s yoga I need or CrossFit, meditation or medication. Who knows, maybe God will answer my prayers and heal me. I’m going to do it this time. I invite you to join me in my exploration. Be a witness to the glorious healing that’s going to take place. My prayer is that as I heal, others will heal.